Attack of the Assistant Lady Managers
by IceQueenandFireQueen
Summary: When adopted twins Lea and Sally accidentally sign themselves into three year jobs with the host club, they intend to make the best of it. When romance enters the picture, will anyone find true happiness? Or will everything spiral downhill and will business take over? SLIGHT PARODY. TAMAKIxHARUHI TWO OTHER OC PAIRINGS.


**A new story from us twins! YAYAYYY! This is a slightly parody story with a lot of romance, humor, and tension. So we're going to try to include characters from both the manga and the anime, and since most people have only watched the anime, when we use characters from the manga, we'll remember to add a little bio in the author's note. And we will also include a song and riddle per every chapter. The song is the soundtrack we recommend you listen to while reading the chapter, and the riddle if for you to answer in your review. The first person to her the correct answer will be sent the first 200 words of the next chapter before it's published! So a sneak peak! You ready?**

**Okay, here's the theme song for this chapter:**

**"When The Crazy Kicks In" By FRANCESCA BATTISTELLI **

**Here I go tiptoeing to the kitchen**  
** And don't you know, crash goes the coffee cup**  
** My only chance to be still and listen**  
** Lord, don't let, don't let the kids wake up**  
** A little time with You, the only way to get me through the day**

**_[Chorus:]_**  
** Oh, come meet me in this moment**  
** Before it all gets going**  
** These plates start to spin**  
** When the crazy kicks in**  
** A circus of distractions**  
** It's just about to happen**  
** I'll be ready when**  
** When the crazy kicks in**

** Pushed and pulled by a thousand expectations**  
** And all the roads that I'm supposed to play**  
** To hit the ground, running's a temptation**  
** But I have learned this lesson the hard way**  
** A little time with You, the only way to get me through the day**

**_[Chorus]_**

** You got me, where You want me, even through the highs and lows**  
** You know me, and You hold me, and You show me that You'll never let me _[9x]_ go**

**_[Chorus]_ **

****So here's the chapter!****

* * *

A brunette tucked her windswept (hair that looked windswept but actually took her stylist two hours) locks behind her ear as she stepped a dainty foot outside her gazillion dollar limo with 40 seats, two floors, two hot tubs, six beds, a theatre, a filming studio, a stuffed animal room, an emo corner room, and much more that I'd rather not waste time mentioning at the moment.

Her $200 shoes clicked as she stepped onto the outdoor marble of her new school, Ouran High School, the school for the filthy rich.

Behind her skipped out a shorter golden haired child, (or what looked like a child) with actual windswept hair, (caused by her sticking her head out of the window playfully, much like a puppy) and a neon pink bow that rested just above her ear. Her shoes made no sound as she skipped along the marble, following the other girl like a lost duckling.

"Lea!" She called, skidding to a stop behind her friend who was peering up at the building with disinterest.

"Shabby."

"What?"

"The school. It's shabby."

"Oh. No it is not!" The blonde retorted with a grin. "Stop playing around sis!"

The brunette, now known as Lea, shook her head and sighed, "Sally, we're not actually sisters by blood, only by law."

"But I still love you!" Sally exclaimed, jumping on Lea's shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah…" Lea said, waving her hand. Then, in a quieter voice that Sally could barely hear, Lea cracked a small smile and added, "Me too." Sally jumped up in joy, because hearing those words from Lea's mouth meant something special. "Don't get a big head about it. I meant I love me too." Lea snorted.

Sally shrugged, knowing Lea just hated being seen as the lovey dovey type. She grasped the 'grumpy grumpus's' hand and pulled her towards the large school. They were very out of place in the area, as every student wore a specific uniform, and they were in casual clothes they brought from one of their many, many mansions. Sally couldn't remember which one.

"Let's go see the cafeteria," Sally exclaimed with a wide grin.

"Is food all you ever think about?" Lea grumbled, but let her adopted sister pull her along. They soon reached a lavish cafeteria. "Shabby." Lea muttered under her breath while Sally dragged her to the place the lunch line would have started to look at the food that would be served for lunch that noon.

"Is 'Shabby' all you think about?" Sally retorted, trying, but failing, to mock her sister. "Besides, it looks delicious!" she exclaimed, jumping up and sitting at one of the tables happily. "And now I'm gonna eat my breakfast because SOMEONE asked me to help her make her lunch, because, and I quote 'their cooking is Shabby'." She pouted stating to eat a sandwich.

"Your cooking is LESS shabby than these people's, slave." Lea sighed, sitting down with a dramatic expression. "Because I am cursed with such shabby company, who can never even begin to cater to all my needs, as a servant, a slave, or even a companion." She declared, dramatically looking into the sunset- I mean, wall.

"Well, my princess," a French looking blonde said, grasping Lea's hands with the typical French romantic expression on his face. Roses and sparkles flew all around them. "You have a worthy companion now. Me. You have a worthy servant now. Me. You have a worthy slave now. Me. I will serve you for eternity." He declared, bowing.

Lea raised an eyebrow. "In that case, can you clean the filth off my shoe? And my laundry is in my basement. The cat also needs a bath."

He stared. "And for the record, you're shabby." Lea declared with a bratty grin.

A scream, wind in the girls' faces, and a little storm later, the saw the blonde in a little emo corner.

Suddenly, Sally gasped in realization, "YOU'RE A FRENCHIE AREN'T YOU!?" she exclaimed happily, jumping up and down clapping. Lea just face-palmed a bit, until a tall boy with black hair and glasses looked at them with an obviously fake smile.

"Hello, Ladies." He said, nodding with a 'warm' grin.

"Am I supposed to curtsy? 'Cause I'm too lazy, Glasses." The boy's face remained unaffected.

"If you had, I would have considered you a lady. Now that it is obvious that you are not, I will continue this little conversation and remind you of the common knowledge that nobody in their right mind would name their child 'Glasses' and therefore, that is not my name."

"…Well I think it's a cute name…" Sally pouted, earning a strange look from the people around her. Suddenly two elbows were placed on her shoulders. She looked up to see two identical boys with spiky reddish orange hair and golden eyes. "Well hello misters!" she greeted happily, looking upwards at both of them.

Lea suddenly came forward and pulled Sally out from under the two, glaring at them and whispering to her sister, "Don't go near these Shabby twins, their shabbiness may be contagious…" she hissed.

"Oh," The Twins said in unison with narrowed eyes as they saunter over to Lea. "I see the Lady doesn't like us very much…" They walked in circles around their defiant target as they moved in like vultures with their prey.

"What do you want?" Lea asked as both twins put their arms around the sarcastic brunette. "My name is Hikaru." One chimed. "And I'm Kaoru." They both twirled around to face her and presented two nearly identical roses that were two different shades of pink to the new student. "Our pleasure.'

"Not my pleasure at all, losers." Lea exclaimed. "You can call me Queen Lea."

The blonde Frenchie in the corner turned around with wide puppy eyes. "Queen?" He hopped up, regaining his posture. "As you can see, shady twins, this princess would rather be with me."

"The Frenchie's awake!" Sally exclaimed, jumping up and hugging the blonde before he could reach her sassy sister, causing him to fall over with her on top of him, sitting on his chest like a chair. "What's wrong, why'd you fall over?"

The blonde king desperately tried to speak, but it only came out as a mumble as all that could be heard was 'Mommy!'

"Which snobby princess is trying to seduce him now." A small brown haired 'boy' grumbled as he walked into the room. His eyes widened as he noticed the situation. Glasses was standing in the corner with his little black book (*cough* *cough* Death Note *cough*), flipping pages and scribbling this in with a fountain pen, a witty looking gold-haired girl was sitting on the blonde boy, and a black haired girl was cornered with the twins crowding her into the corner. The blonde smiled at the new arrival and started to pat the 'king's' head.

"Who the hell are you people?" Lea exclaimed.

"I'm sorry." The new arrival sighed. "They can be a bit…obnoxious." The poor Frenchie on the floor began to bawl, shouting, "HHAARRRUHHHHHHIIIIIIIII TTTHHIIIINNNNKKKSSSS WEEEEE'RRREEEE OOBBBBBBNNNNNOOOOOXXXXXIIIIIOOOUUUSSSSS!"

"It's okay miss, I like them!" Sally exclaimed, "Especially Mr. Frenchie here!" she giggled, getting off of the king and skipping over to the newcomer, or Haruhi, as the Frenchie said. She smiled brightly and held out her hand cutely, "I'm Sally, and that's my twin Lea!"

"Twin?" The twins- uh, the read-heads identical people who are brothers, exclaimed at the same time, snapping their heads from one from side to the other. "I don't see it."

"We're adopted," Lea exclaimed. "And we were born on the same day, so we're technically twins according to the law, looking at birthdates and parents. Err, parent." She added the last sentence quietly, and only Glasses in the corner heard it, and he quietly added a note to his notebook casually under Lea Yang's name.

"But please, Haruhi," Lea said, turning to Haruhi, "Explain to me how you know these idiots?"

"Oh, long story, girls." Haruhi replied, smiling. The Frenchie urged her from the corner, so rolling his eyes, Haruhi continued. "But that is a story that can be told over a romantic cup of tea."

_Upward look, upward look!_ The blonde urged, relating to his earlier training. Haruhi, bowed, and sent a 'flirtious' half smile up to the girls.

"Sorry, Haruhi," Lea sighed, waving her off. "But I'm not lesbian."

"Yeah, sorry miss." Sally chirped.

The twins and the Frenchie's eyes bulged. "What are you talking about?" The 'king' stated. "Anyway, Haruhi is commoner, what do you want with her-im? I'm Tamaki Suoh, nice to meet you princesses!" He exclaimed. "And that hottie in the corner is Haruhi's mother, Kyoya Ooturi!"

The girls blinked for a second, before Lea asked, "Gay?" and Hikaru and Kaoru burst into laughter.

"Well I sure do hope so!" Sally exclaimed, getting many strange looks. "What? Gay means happy…" she pouted disliking the incorrect use of such a bright word.

Lea just placed a hand on her face, looking downward as her forehead became blue because of her sister's… optimism. "Sally, no one uses it like that anymore."

"They do in Christmas carols!" Sally retorted, before turning back to the boys, and one girl. "So, how's everyone's day been?" she asked, completely forgetting any subject they were discussing before.

"It's become even better now that you're here." Tamaki said, going over to Sally and grabbing her chin, causing her to look into his violet eyes.

"Aww, well thank you!" Sally exclaimed, giggling, "You have beautiful eyes, you know?"

"Speaking of eyes-" the twins came up to her, Kaoru speaking.

"What's up with yours?" Hikaru finished, deterring Sally's attention from Tamaki.

"Huh? Oh, you mean how one's brown, and one's gold? I dunno, they've always been like that!" Sally responded.

Lea huffed. "Sally," she said, not even bothering to keep her voice down anymore. "Shabby. I told you."

The twins stared, and then Lea turned back to Haruhi. "Which leads us to the fact (okay, it actually doesn't lead us to this but i want to ask) Why the hell are you dressed up as a boy?"

"MMMOOOOMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY THISSS NEW GIRL IS CURSING AT OUR DEAR DAUGHTER- I MEAN SON HARUHI!" Tamaki yelled, tears falling down his face as the twins rolled their eyes in unison.

Suddenly two newcomers entered, one a tall person that could only be correctly described as a man, with tanned skin and spiked hair, and the other, a small….thing that could only be described as a child with honey colored hair and almost translucent brown eyes that were so big they nearly took up the entirety of his face.

"TAAMMAA-CHAN!" The small one yelled. "WE BROUGHT CAAAAAKKEEE!" The little boy set down a huge swaying cake the height of the taller boy.

"We're gonna have to split it." He declared. He began counting everyone in the room. "One, three, four, five, six, seven…..and are you gonna eat too?" He asked innocently, looking at the girls. Before Lea could object, Sally nodded vigorously.

"Okay, nine people." the boy muttered, ignoring the fact he had no clue who the girls were. "Hmm, there's only one strawberry…..and I like strawberries….." He trailed off.

"Well, I don't mind letting you have it, if that's okay with everyone else!" Sally exclaimed, looking at the boys, who just nodded.

"YAY!" the 'young' boy exclaimed happily, with flowers popping up around him cutely.

"Aww, he's so cuuute!" Sally exclaimed, skipping over to the boy happily, "My name's Sally! What's yours?" she asked him, before looking up at the taller man, "oh, you too mister!"

Before the child could respond, Tamaki stepped in with a strange princly act. "This, my dear child, is Mitskuni Hanninozuka, but everybody calls him Honey, and the handsome man beside him, is Takashi Morinnozuka, but everybody calls him Mori."

"Wow," Lea stated in a bored tone, "who knew someone with such a kingly attitude could be so rude...interrupting this little boy… you really are Shabby." she said coldly, causing a random arrow with the word 'Shabby' on it to fly out of the sky and strike Tamaki in the chest, causing him to fall dramatically.

Seeing this, Sally walked over and poked Tamaki with a random stick. "Mr. Tamaki… are you okay? Did Lea's words kill you? OH NO! SHE TOLD ME THAT WORDS COULD HURT PEOPLE BUT I DIDN'T THINK SHE MEANT IT LIKE THAT!" she exclaimed, a bit horrified, causing almost everyone around her to sweatdrop.

Lea just blue-faced at her 'twin'. Before she could open her mouth to say something, a powerful motor's sound rang through the room and a powerful cackling of an epic YAOI fangirl cosplayer shouga manga fan could be heard. "WAH HA HAHA!" The auburn girl cackled with and epic grin. "Boys," she began. "No need to worry. Lady Manager Renge is here to save the day!"

"Why would we need saving?" The twins asked the same time with a shrug and a huff.

Renge just ignored that as she descended upon the poor girls who were fearfully (okay, neither of them was scared) edged into a corner.

"Hello Miss!" Sally greeted, before Lea smacked a hand on her mouth, shaking her head.

Renge edged closer to them and observed them closely with a strange look. She suddenly brightened and stood up straight, pointing to the confused twins. "You two are perfect!"

"What?" Lea asked bluntly.

"Yes! You," she pointed to Lea, "are the smart sassy one, who won't take crap from anyone! And you," she pointed to Sally, "are the stupid happy-go-lucky one! Who would know exactly what a fangirl would want!" she exclaimed before backing up and pointing at the both of them. "YOU WILL BOTH BE MY ASSISTANT MANAGERS FOR THE HOST CLUB!"

"…What's a host club?" Sally asked, tilting her head to the side cutely.

"The host club is a place where we give girls a good time, in return for a small fee of course, using our hosts." Kyoya explained, gesturing to the group of boys.

"So, you're all prostitutes?" Lea confirmed.

Tamaki screamed and jumped onto Haruhi, closing her eyes and ears the best he could. "Honey!" He wailed. "Get rid of them! Renge! You're out of your mind! Poor Haruhi will be corrupted by dirty…boy words."

"Mr. Tamaki, that's not very nice." Sally stated with a lone tear. "You're making us sad….we were only helping with…."

"Advertising." Lea finished. "If people knew you were male prostitutes, there would be more business. You'd just need to invest in a few beds."

"…What are prostitutes? Why do you need beds? What's going on!?" Sally asked, looking around, confused.

"No, I don't believe that will give us a very good reputation in the school, after all, we're all still in high school." Kyoya stated, ignoring Sally's question.

"Which means you guys will be prostitutes AFTER high school?" Lea asked with a smirk.

While everyone was sweatdropping and blue facing, Sally popped upin the background, yelling in chibi form, "WHAT THE HECK IS A PROSTITUTE?!"

**A/n there's still in the cafeteria.**

Lea sighed. "Here." She said, handing Sally a dictionary with some pages folded. "All the bad words in this book are marked. Just put on these glasses so you look smart and go for it.

"NO DON'T DO IT PRINCESS!" Tamaki cried out, dramatically diving towards Sally. Unfortunately, like always, instead of stopping the girl from learning everything, he smashed into her back, causing her and the dictionary to fall on the floor. The dictionary opened to the marked page that held the word 'prostitute', and Sally read the definition happily.

When she finished reading the definition, she stood up slowly with blank look on her face, which turned into a small grimace as she wrinkled her nose. "That's inappropriate!" she said, hitting Lea in the arm lightly, acting as a mature mother, that is, until… "I would understand why you would need beds, but think of the cost! There's also deciding what size they are; are they big or are they small? There's also the price of the sheets, I mean, what type of linen would you use? Then there's also the schedule on what time you work on that, and what time you just talk to people…then the price of the tea and how you'd hide it from your parents!" she rambled, going into business mode. "And what about accidental children?"

"Noooo! She's corrupted!" Tamaki cried out, placing a hand on his face dramatically.

Meanwhile, the twins slid over to the _lonely_ prince, putting one elbow on each of his shoulders.

"Look what you did Boss…" Hikaru started.

"You know it's your fault she was able to read that…" Kaoru continued.

"So overall you're the one who corrupted her." They finished together, causing Tamaki to gain a horror-stricken look on his face before diving head-first into his emo corner.

"And you," The twins continued, edging overto Lea, sensing her similairity to Tamaki, "You're the idiot you gave her a marked dictionary. You two are responsible!" Seconds later, the population of the Emo Corner, Cafeteria had changed to two.

During this, Sally had picked up the dictionary once more, and begun to scroll through the pages, but it was pulled from her grasp before she could read anything.

"Don't read that. It's bad." Mori said, as he put the book in the trash.

"Why not?" Kyoya laughed, pulling out another copy. "After all, the more you know, the more you grow." He flipped the page. "This is a book with ONLY bad words….why don't you take a look? I little gift from you to me." Of course, The Dark lord wasn't serious, but he wanted to get a reaction out of his best friend, just for the evil fun of it.

"No!" Tamaki gasped, reaching out towards Sally once more, before Mori picked her up, running the opposite direction with her in one of his arms. Meanwhile, Tamaki launched forward and slapped the book out of Kyoya's hand, causing it to fly over into Sally's hands. Tamaki screamed in slow motion while everything else moved on normally, with Mori snatching the book out of Sally's hands and everyone watching boredly while he glared at Kyoya.

"Looks like Tama-chan is practicing his one man slow motion technique!" Honey declared. "It's super effective! So much draaaammaa!" (reference to episode 4, Attack of the Lady Manager lol) (or pokemon, take your pick)

"Since thaat's all over…what do you two say?" Renge asked, coming up behind them.

"YES!" Sally yelled.

"Just sign this." Renge cackled with a grin.

Now it was Lea's turn for one woman slow motion dramatics. She started screaming, "NNNOOOOO SAALLLLLLYYYY DDDOOONNNNNN'TTTT DOOO ITTT!" But she just ended up pushing Sally over to the paper, where she eagerly signed before she fell on her face, Lea dogpiling on her.

"Great, so now…" Kaoru said, he and his twin sliding over.

"You have to hang out with us…" Hikaru continued.

"Every day." Thy both finished, causing tears to dramatically slide down Lea's cheeks (still in slow-motion). Sally just laughed underneath her, before croaking out painfully.

"Um, guys…help…"

"NO DON'T HELP THE ADORABLE CUTENESS OVERLOAD SHE-DEVIL WITH PUPPY EYES AND A QUIVERING LIP! YOU MUST RESIST!" Lea cried out, still on top of the pleading girl

The Host club shuddered as they struggled to decide what to do…but her cuteness was too much. They pulled the girl out from under her sister, while Lea exclaimed in defeat. Once she was pulled out, Sally sat on the floor with big eyes and a tiny smile.

"Thank you!" she exclaimed, causing Tamaki to faint. Haruhi glared at Sally and Hikaru gulped as his brother elbowed him expectantly.

"Right," Hikaru swallowed nodding. "Comforting Haruhi after the death of boss, so she'll fall in love with me instead." he whispered to himself. "Haruhi," he began in an audible voice and a dramatic expression, He took out a piece of paper and began to read in a voice that was worse than Haruhi's acting voice. "I am so very sorry for your loss, I shall comfort you in your troubled state, "He began, and Tamaki choked to life….or consciousness…..

Sally turned her head to the tomboy host, and saw the *cough* menacing *cough* glare of….jealousy? Psssshhhh, nahhhhh, why would she be jealous that Tamaki fainted because of her cuteness? Yet, it still frightened Sally…a lot. "Lea!" she whispered, "Haruhi's glaring at me! She's scaring me!" she cried in a Momiji-like way. (If you get this…Tamaki and I love you)

"But it's time for class, we gotta go changeeeeeee…" Lea groaned. "We don't have time to beat people up for glaring at you.."

"Fine…but only since I don't wanna be late to class." Sally agreed, and the girls left the room.

"Well," Kyoya said, "That was pleasant."

* * *

**Well, that's the prologue. I hope you enjoyed it! Please tell us about any mistakes or how we can improve!**

**There's also a link on our profile to a deviantart account called 'Eternal Fangirls', in which all outfits and scenary and stuff will be displayed for this fanfiction.**

**Here's the riddle for today!  
**

**Who makes it, has no need of it.**  
** Who buys it, has no use for it. **  
** Who uses it can neither see nor feel it. **  
** What is it? **

**This is a classic, so I hope you get it. :) I shall eagerly await those reviews, and Adios! **


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